The Bergler Six are alive and well!! So sorry for the hiatus in writing….as you might imagine….we’ve been “otherwise occupied”. :) Our most sincere gratitude for all of you who have followed us personally in this journey with your friendship, love, prayers, questions and listening ears. And to those of you who have encouraged me to keep writing…thank you for your kind words and prodding. While I will never claim to be a writer, I am realizing more and more how much I’ve missed the process of putting words to the page. It is often therapeutic for me, but even more so I’m finding how important it is to stop and reflect, to mark time and feelings amidst the busyness of our little world.
If you can believe it, one year ago today we laid eyes on Sol & Coco for the first time at their little orphanage in the foggy hills of Kwa Zulu Natal. As with most momentous occasions, it feels like a lifetime ago, but also just like yesterday. I have tears streaming down my face right now as I think of the four Berglers who traipsed up the hill in the rain that day, hearts pounding in anticipation of our long awaited meeting.
And those two sweet shy faces that met us, the smiles that came in spite of the lack of words we shared.
All six of those people are hardly recognizable to me today.
The past year has been WILD—beautifully complicated, utterly exhausting, remarkably full of delight and wonder and just HARD. It’s funny…I have had this one year mile stone in my mind all year long as the ultimate destination. Everyone said, “Oh the first year is so hard” or “It will be a year before you feel like yourself again”. I have been running head long toward this day for a year now thinking how all of “the hard stuff” must somehow miraculously evaporate at this point in time. (Yes—I see you shaking your head….how can a reasonably smart girl really think this could be true?) Well, call it denial, or a coping mechanism or what you will, but that is the race I’ve been running—and I mean RUNNING—with so little time or attention given to the course or our pace or the hurdles we’ve leapt across. I’ve been so focused on just getting to the finish line–being settled, finding everyone whole and happy. As I’ve unpacked and sorted through these thoughts over the past few weeks, my discovery was this: subconsciously I have viewed adoption as an occurrence—something we would do, and then, at some point, return to “normal life”. The reality that is now staring me in the face as I’ve raced towards my illusion, is that we will spend the rest of our lives working out this adoption….in all of its joy and pain and beauty and complication. It is the journey we have been called to, not the event. The marathon, not the 100 yard dash. And while that reality may feel overwhelming some days, it also makes for a more thoughtful and well-paced approach, and reminds me to rely daily on the One who called us to the journey in the first place.
So, as we cross the one year mark, my sprint is slowing to a jog and I think it might be nice to even walk for a bit….especially if I have a little brown hand in mine.
I do recognize them. And to be quite honest, I dig them a whole lot. I am honored and humbled to be on this journey with them. Can I just tell you—each one is so incredibly amazing—I hope to get to share with you more about them in the coming months.